My Prayer

“It’s not matter of trust anymore” said my friend,”it’s all about your pride right now”

Are you willing to try and keeping on her tail without knowing on what is inside her head? Would you sacrifice all of it to pursue something out of your grasp? Is it worth it to get her?

I’m speechless. I don’t even know how to react.

Those questions keep wandering inside my head. I don’t know how to answer and I don’t even know how to think. I wander aimlessly inside my head searching for some clues or even answers to those questions. Everything started to disorganized and sooner or later I will lose control with my own life.

I ask God,”What should I do? She’s not here with me and it’s all up to me to answers those. Do I doing the right thing or all my actions give disadvantages to one side only?”

I sing a song about my life with her, I cried. I could not finish the song. Tears are not falling from my little eyes but the voice was listened to crowd of people. I wonder if they see the tears behind the song. I make the song personal.

God, please help me.
This is my prayer.
I surrender all things back to You.

Regret Comes Later

It’s not like going to end well this time. My life was beautiful back then, I found somebody that I care the most. She’s the best thing I ever ask to God. But I never expected that I’m going to miss her so much right now. I live my life as a caring person. I move on because I want to show to the one I care most that I care about her. It never been a simple task for me.

My life has been filled with joy of happiness and love. I need love to survive, to move on, to live my life to the fullest. I never could share my thought with somebody until I realize that I need somebody that I care the most.

Regret comes later.

Right now I’m in the midst of abyss. I don’t even know could I move on without seeing and thinking about someone I care the most?

So far, the simplest answer is no.

I miss her so much. I couldn’t form a good structure sentences without her presence. What my life would become? I left some words unsaid. I don’t know when I’m going to repay and say how happy I’m with her all this time.

I never could understand what love is until I found you. You taught me. You guide me. You give me new perspective. But love itself is not something that can be easily taught, instead we can simply share it. Share our experiences of love, the joy of being loved by somebody and loved somebody.

I want to meet you face to face and say how much I’m in love with you. But I made promise with myself that I will never say the word “love” to anybody and meant it until I’m graduate from my senior school.

Should I break my own promise for her? Right now I would say no. I regret all things I’ve done to you. If only this promise doesn’t bind me, I swore that you will never felt heart broken like now.

In my prayer I said, God gives strength to you. He always gives to those who need it.

p.s. Dedicated to my friend….

Everything Started From Something

Have you ever wonder how could someone in love with another? Do you used all of your reasoning skills to come up with the conclusion? Why an emotion we called as “love” is the hardest one for us to tell the others?

There a lot of people who already ask about this such mysterious yet enjoyable feeling called “love”. Finding a guidelines for people who are in loved is an impossible task and you cannot find anywhere, even on the internet.

I’m struggling with this emotion and I could never grasp the reason why I’m in love, or maybe it best to leave it without any reason to believe and just let ourselves fall in love, as what many people said, with love.

I’m not kind of person who love to share my own experience to anybody even though they are very close to me. And apparently I’m kind of person who love to write but incapable to write anything without any deep thought.